Monday, June 4, 2012

It is super hot in my room and I slept about 3 hours last night.

I had a dream in which I was back in college.  I've been having a lot of these lately.  I always take the same class--I don't remember what it is, but I think it's the same class because my dreams tell me it's the same class as before. 

I am failing the class, which I need to graduate, because I keep skipping classes.  Not that I actively go out of my way to skip them, but they always happen to slip my mind and I dig myself deeper and deeper.

This dream's unique details had me trying to find my teacher/adviser in order to somehow make up for the fact that I didn't know what the hell was going on in class... and somehow find a way to graduate anyway.  It failed because I couldn't find the person.  I was resigning myself to the idea that it wasn't going to work out.  I think suicide was on the table, mainly because I watched an episode of a television show that featured a pretty gruesome suicide right before going to bed.  But then, some lady appeared.  I don't know who she was, but I did in the dream--and she came running up to me, holding in her hand a diploma.  She said that she couldn't stand the sight of me heading off to who knows where without graduating, so she took it upon herself to forge a diploma for me.  Not that a forged diploma means that I actually graduate, but it seemed like a grand gesture in the dream.  And I was convinced I had graduated.

No idea what any of this means.  It sure woke me up at 6 AM, though... and I've been slogging through this entire day since.  Tried to take a nap, and then right when I was about to doze off, I received a phone call from work.  Sigh.

What a miserable day.


I believe I used to be accused of listening to mostly depressing music.  I always used to dispute it, because I wasn't really listening to it because of its depressing quality, or to become depressed or whatever.  It's just that those songs tend to have stronger emotional resonance than songs that are purely about joy and optimism and happiness (of course, there are great songs that I'd describe in those terms, but still), and I tend to drift more towards songs that have that impact on me. 

All that said, everything I've been listening to as of late has been totally depressing.

I don't think it's on purpose.

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