Monday, June 21, 2010

So I got Red Dead Redemption a few days back.

Which means that most of my free time has been given to that.

Much to the chagrin of my ongoing search for better employment.

And to the chagrin of my attempt to keep writing.

AND to the chagrin of everything else.

It's a pretty fantastic game, however. As it turns out, marrying GTA and the West was an amazing idea, and I'm really enjoying the "anything goes" mentality the game possesses.

If there's one problem so far, it's that there's this cougar. And it hates me.

Which might not be a problem if it didn't also insist on mauling me to death (I can live with the cougar hating me yet passively harbors feelings of contempt and not gnawing on my leg). And he does it JUST as I skin and kill a few wolves so my master hunter rating will go up. Or when I collect another red sage to improve my flower collecting rating (or whatever it's called), meaning that all the stuff I had just done gets wiped out. Grr.

I can see if he's got some type of pact with the wolves where if any hostility is acted upon the wolves, he (and I'll just go ahead and assume it's a he) comes in and protects them. You know, going against the common enemy and stuff. But WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU ATTACKING ME WHEN I'M PICKING FLOWERS?

It doesn't make sense. I searched for "Cougars like flowers" in Google and no results were found. And even if it did hold a particular fondness for red sages, it's not like I'm picking the entire f'n patch. I'm doing it so people all around the area will know me for my intense flower picking capabilities. Also I'm helping some old guy out and grabbing some flowers so he can give them to his wife. Why would he be so opposed to a guy giving his wife a gift? Was he heartbroken by a dashing female cougar and now hates the very concept of love, thus ruining any opportunity where love might flourish?

It might just be because he thinks I'm weak for picking flowers. But this is silly. I'm a badass with huge scars on my face, and I tried taking you on with a knife. Which was stupid, yes... but weak? Well... if you consider stupidity and weakness pretty much the same, I suppose.

I'm trying to figure out a way to get back at the cougar, but as of right now I don't want to go anywhere near them. I'm kind of fearing that it's just going to roll into town one day while I'm playing horseshoes and beat the crap out of me. Obviously I'm not in the right state of mind for battle.

I've heard there are bears in the game too.

I hope they are cuddlier than the cougars are.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Is it bad that in the World Cup match between Brazil and North Korea... I'm kind of cheering for North Korea?

That must be a bad thing.

Cause... you know, North Korea= bad and grr and super evil and such. But the only reason I would watch these games is to hope for massive upsets that totally confound expectations. It's kind of like the NCAA tournament... when in doubt, ALWAYS cheer for the underdog.

Plus, I figured that Brazil would be up at least a goal half an hour into it, so the fact that it's still tied pretty much forces me to cheer for the underdogs.

But... you know.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Wah wah wah

Sara and I were supposed to watch some movie before heading to the restaurant down the street for some late night appetizers, but she is taking a long time emailing/internetting. So I'm jumping at the chance to update this place.

Maybe she's just killing time.... and expecting me to grab her when I'm ready to watch something. Hmm.

I bought another bobblehead today. Last time I wrote about this I had one. Now I have six. By this time next week I might have 322. I just bought a bobblehead of the Empire Today guy for $3 at a thrift store while killing time waiting to pick up Sara from work. And then I bought an Iron Man bobblehead for $8 at work. AND then last week at a garage sale, I found Colonel Sanders, Count Chocula and Popeye for $3 each.

Just so you know, I'm going full out hardcore on this.

Seriously, I plan to have a huge collection-50 by the end of the year and 500 by the time I'm 30 or so. It's probably going to be all I talk about at some point and you'll probably want to spend less time interacting with me as a result, but nonetheless I DON'T CARE. The things are kitschy and weird and I'll collect a bunch of pop culture characters and mascots and presidents and obscure pitchers for the Kansas City Royals and it's going to be great.

I'm going to try writing more often.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The other day I woke up and my fish tank was on fire...

True story.

Well, I didn't necessarily see any fire. But I saw smoke. And old sayings are always correct.

I've been away for a while. This is because I have been moving/going out of town/hanging out and such. Thus I haven't really had time for anything other than that stuff. But things are sort of slowing down now, which means I might be able to toss off a few posts every now and then.

Except that I've been playing a lot of games recently. Plus I haven't picked up Super Mario Galaxy 2 yet. Plus I've heard really good things about Red Dead Redemption. So... yeah.

Wanna know what I did during that long stretch?

-Drove down to lower Wisconsin with the girlfriend! YEAH! It was exciting... except for the fact that I had to deal with a flat tire. I mean, that was exciting, but in the wrong kind of way.

-Visited the Spam Museum, which is probably the greatest ridiculous and inessential museum out there. I mean, it's pretty essential if you want the history of Hormel and Spam. Cause you get to learn about the founder of the company through puppets and telephone conversations. But other than that... it's kind of silly... and amazing. There's a Spam quiz that you can take in this studio that's kind of awesome. Plus you can see who is able to can Spam the fastest. I won the Spam can-off by a second. It was intense.

-Helped out on Sara's grandmother's farm. Which by that I mean... sat around mostly while other people worked. So her family might secretly resent me. I have no way of knowing.

-Went to a drive-in theater and saw a double feature. Mini-reviews on both:

Shrek 4: I liked the first one, hated the second one, never saw the third. So I thought this would be terrible. Imagine my surprise, when it actually turned out to be bland and inessential instead of offensive and annoying! I thought pop culture jokes would trample all over the entire film, but thankfully it was all kept to a minimum. The story is kind of underdeveloped and the characters seemed rather one dimensional, but hey... guess ripping off "It's A Wonderful Life" grants you a decent amount of mileage. RATING: 5 OUT OF 10 OR SO.

Iron Man 2: I heard this was going to be disappointing... and it was. Didn't seem nearly as fun and exciting as the first one. Plus, I was totally digging Mickey Rourke as the bad guy, and for the first 20 minutes it seems as if he might develop into someone cool... but then he gets relegated to the background for the rest of the movie. And then the final fight he's in is pretty much the least climatic final battle I've ever seen (SPOILERS: Mickey Rourke rigs a bunch of bombs, Iron Man dodges them in about 5 seconds, and that's it. (What?)). It was another film that seemed sort of underbaked, but perhaps I was missing some crucial information by having the drive-in experience (with the crappy radio sound and all). But then again... probably not. RATING: 5 OUT OF 10-ish.