I heard this on the radio today. It also appeared in the movie The Life Aquatic. I don't really have anything to say about it, other than to give it my approval. And that it could be twice as long.

I'm working overnights at a couple group homes for the developmentally disabled right now, and it's been pretty decent so far. A little easy, as I really just have to make sure that they take their medications and that they don't get into any trouble. There are slight deviations from that on every shift, but for the most part that's what I do.

This Saturday I took the group out to play bingo with other group homes, which is the first time I've ever taken the entire home somewhere. So it was a little weird. Plus, I wasn't feeling great... and one of the guys I work for was moody about some money issues that were out of my control.

But the reason why I'm bringing this up is because I met another guy from a group home, and... well... this is how the conversation went:

"Hi, my name is (C___... can't remember what exactly it is). What's your name?"
"Nice to meet you. Name's Alex."
"Nice to meet you, Alex. Are you happy all the time?"

... how the hell am I supposed to answer that?

I mean, I did... I lied and said yes, because I heard another person talking about how happy he was with this guy, and so I figured that saying "yes" would be the only appropriate response. But still. How am I supposed to answer that?

Today, I made a stop in at a gas station, and because the whole retail experience assumes an air of cordiality, the cashier asked how I was doing. I lied and said I was doing fine.

I've learned the hard way that people don't actually want to always hear about the troubles you're going through at the moment. But still, it drives me a little crazy that whenever someone asks me how I'm doing, I have to pretend to be OK when I'm not. I feel like I'm complicit in something...

It's not that I'm wanting to open up to this cashier or this guy I met at a bingo party so they empathize or whatever. I just don't want to lie while also not making things uncomfortable.

I'm assuming there has to be a trick to it. Something that expresses general displeasure at life in a way that also seems cordial, instead of it coming off as sullen or angry, which is how I would assume I would come off as if I answered the question truthfully every time. You know, in a way that theoretically establishes a bond between the two of us in the way that relating over human misery sometimes does. And not just complaining and making the other person assume that you might be mad at them. And not just lying and going along with the routine of answering "how I am doing."

Unfortunately, in my quest to discover this trick, I have found myself mostly just answering with half-truths whenever I encounter someone who asks this question. Sometimes I say that I "OK"... which means ostensibly neither good nor bad... but really, it leans towards the "good" side. Sometimes I state that I am "hanging in there," which is another statement that's a little vague about its intentions--it implies a certain sense of unease, but also implies optimism. I am unsatisfied with both of those responses, but they're what I answer with mostly.

Or maybe I'm just looking at this the wrong way. Maybe it's not a question that is being asked of me, but more of a script between two unfamiliar people. And my line is supposed to be "I'm doing well, how are you doing?" And any deviation from that immediately ruins the scene. I don't know.

Anyway. You might be wondering how I'm doing after plowing through all this.

Well, I'm doing OK.