NFL playoff predictions

I have the right to revise these as I go along, so I can have the Packers winning whenever the Saints get knocked out.

Basically, I want to be right, and I'm pretty certain it's going to be one of those two teams winning it this year.

Anyway, let's do it one round at a time:

WILD CARD:
SAINTS/LIONS: Lions just got wasted by Matt Flynn. Not going to fare much better against the non-Aaron-Rodgers-MVP and the team that's been unstoppable at the Superdome. WINNER: SAINTS.
GIANTS/FALCONS: I'm pretty sure the Giants only lost to really good teams or bad teams this year. Fortunately for them, the Falcons are just okay... WINNER: GIANTS.
TEXANS/BENGALS: Running game, defense, Texans. Also, the Bengals never do anything once they get into the playoffs, and seemed to mostly benefit from an easy schedule. WINNER: TEXANS.
BRONCOS/STEELERS: Look, I know I'm going to get this game wrong, no matter what I pick. If I pick the Steelers because they could possibly be the AFC's best team despite the Big Ben injury, the Broncos are going to complete the storybook ending and defeat the hated Steelers. If I pick the Broncos, I'll look stupid because they kind of suck. So there's really only one obvious solution. WINNER: BOTH.

DIVISIONAL ROUND:
PACKERS/GIANTS: It would be glorious to have a repeat of the 2007 NFC championship. But... yeah, no. WINNER: PACKERS.
49ERS/SAINTS: Well, I sort of picked the Saints to represent the NFC at the beginning of the season (I may have changed it to the Cardinals just to try to correctly call the sleeper team emerging, which also failed in the AFC with my Browns pick. Obviously I picked the wrong NFC West team). So I'm going with them. It was a good run, though, 49ers. I'll be sort of cheering for you nonetheless. WINNER: SAINTS
RAVENS/TEXANS: So the Texans faltered down the stretch, but... I don't really like the Ravens, and I don't think Joe Flacco is capable of contributing a clutch performance in these high pressure situations. I mean, if I were betting on just a straight head-to-head game, I'd take the Ravens, but... what the hell. WINNER: TEXANS
PATRIOTS/STEELERS: The Patriots aren't *really* that good, and I don't believe they beat a team with a winning record all year, but... Big Ben is hobbled, and the Patriots have enough to put the dagger in the heart. WINNER: PATRIOTS

OR

PATRIOTS/BRONCOS: Well, obviously... Tim Tebow is meant to take on the villainous New England Patriots and finally vanquish them to the delight of the country. This was how it was meant to happen all along. WINNER: BRONCOS

CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES:
PACKERS/SAINTS: Packers are most likely going to win it all, but they haven't been as sharp the last half of the season as they were in the first. Meanwhile, the Saints have gotten better and won 8 straight. And I sort of picked them to win the NFC. WINNER: SAINTS

PATRIOTS/TEXANS: Well... I'm not going to go with TJ Yates/Jake Delhomme over Tom Brady. I don't really know why this is my AFC championship, though... rather uninspiring. WINNER: PATRIOTS

OOOOOOOOOOR:

PATRIOTS/BRONCOS: I know my alternate scenario just had the Broncos beating the Patriots in the Divisional round, but obviously it needs to happen on a bigger stage. So the Bengals beat the Texans, the Broncos face the slightly less-villainous Ravens in the divisional round, beat them. And then Tim Tebow slays the mighty dragon. WINNER: BRONCOS

SUPER BOWL:

SAINTS/PATRIOTS: About 600 points are scored. And every passing record is broken thrice.
WINNER: SAINTS

OOOOOOOOOOORRRR:
BRONCOS/LIONS: Well, obviously if the Broncos make it this far, the story needs to save the biggest villain for last. And obviously the Patriots/Steelers are hard to top. But the Lions are the NFC's most unlikable team (objectively speaking, of course... subjectively, it's obviously the Packers). But they need a little work...

So, in route to the Super Bowl, Ndamukong Suh runs over some Packer fans after beating their team, makes some tasteless Hurricane Katrina jokes in beating the Saints, and... I don't know, punts a baby.

Then Tim Tebow can prevail.