Hey! I'm doing Oscar predictions. Why, you ask? Cause I like offering my opinions on categories I know nothing about (come on Star Trek for Makeup!).
FORMAT:
The categories are descending from the smaller guns to the bigger ones (or... the ones I know least about to the ones I actually might know a thing or two about.). Also, I decided to write the bigger categories first, so if the top seems like a slog to get through... well, that's because all of it is, but the ones on top moreso because I got sick of writing. Also, it's going to seem like I don't care about a lot of the smaller categories... which is because I don't, really. I only have so much time to invest into everything, you know...
Each category will ask who should win (a.k.a. what film did I like the best), who will win (a.k.a. my actual prediction), and what would piss me off the most (a.k.a. where I get to talk about how sucky Avatar is and how much I hate it).
BEST SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION):
Who should win: Well... haven't exactly seen any of them. Perhaps if I hadn't been plowing through all 5 seasons of The Wire (3 episodes to go), I'd have... you know, watched other stuff. But you know. I don't even know if they're available to watch online, so.
Who will win: The Door.
What would piss me off: I have a ballot that has me trying to pick every single category wrong, so... whichever one I marked as least likely to win.
BEST SHORT FILM (ANIMATED):
Who should win: I'm not going to kid you... haven't been able to see anything except Logorama, which was kind of cute for a while... until it delved into some poor stylistic action that might only work because Ronald McDonald is killing people... that said, I don't think anyone would actually go for it.
Who will win: Giving it to Wallace & Gromit. Because... yeah.
What would piss me off: *shrugs*
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT:
Who should win: All of them.
Who will win: It's a race between China's Unnatural Disaster and The Last Truck. I'm going to say that China's Unnatural Disaster prevails, since earthquakes might be bigger than the crumbling auto industry at this point.
What would piss me off: One of the four I didn't pick.
BEST SOUND EDITING:
Who should win: Whatever. Avatar's winning.
Who will win: ....
What would piss me off: ....
BEST SOUND MIXING:
Who should win: I don't care. As long as it isn't that one movie...
Who will win: I've heard Hurt Locker is stronger in this category than in the others, so we'll go for it here. If Avatar wins, I fear for everything else.
What would piss me off: AVATAR.
BEST COSTUME DESIGN:
Who should win: I saw Bright Star the other day. That said, I don't know if it should win because I'm not an expert on 19th century garb. Nor am I an expert on anything else that got nominated here.
Who will win: Young Victoria...
What would piss me off: ...cause you know one of the main reasons the film was made was to rack up this Oscar...
BEST MAKEUP:
Who should win: Well... Star Trek has to win something, and won't win anything that is up against Avatar, right?
Who will win: Probably The Young Victoria....
What would piss me off: *sigh*
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS:
Who should win: Avatar.
Who will win: Avatar.
What would piss me off: Whatever.
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM:
Who should win: Haven't seen any of them since I don't have the kind of cash at the moment to see any of them even if they made their way to my part of the woods.
Who will win: ...but they might give this to Haneke and The White Ribbon just as a way to give a slight nod to his body of work. Plus it's about the Holocaust.
What would piss me off: Well... honestly, something is going to win that is terribly boring and most "Oscar-friendly." Which movie it is, I don't know... but it's going to actually win. The White Ribbon is my choice for now.
BEST DOCUMENTARY:
Who should win: Again, haven't seen any of the contenders. Although I could easily get my hands on The Cove and Food Inc. But again... The Wire...
Who will win: The Cove. I've heard everybody loves it. So there you go.
What would piss me off: You know... the only documentaries I saw this year were Tyson and Anvil: The Story Of Anvil, and I greatly enjoyed both. I'm not fuming or anything at their exclusion, but... I wish they made room for documentaries that aren't political or "important" in one way or another... and made room for well-made and fascinating features.
MOST PROMISING 2010 TRAILER:
Who should win: I am totally waving the Hot Tub Time Machine flag. All the way, baby.
Who will win: Inception, because they'll feel bad for snubbing The Dark Knight and this'll be their way to make it up for Nolan...
What would piss me off: Which is TOTAL BULLS***. TOTAL BULLS***.
BEST SONG:
Who should win: *snicker*
Who will win: "The Weary Kind" from Crazy Heart.
What would piss me off: This category existing next year. Unless, you know... they decide to make it actually seem somewhat relevant.
BEST SCORE:
Who should win: Oh God, Up Up Up.
Who will win: UP, PLEASE.
What would piss me off: Anything other than Up. Especially Avatar, cause I remember distinctly thinking that the score wasn't actually all that good. And the "I See You" song was a big pile of s***. Although that shouldn't count against the actual score... but at the same time it should, you know? Someone has to suffer for allowing that to exist.
BEST ART DIRECTION:
Who should win: Well, I've only seen Avatar and Sherlock Holmes... the latter was pretty wonderfully realized, but nothing about the movie seems like it should deserve any sort of accolades, you know? It's decent fun, but that's about it.
Who will win: Oh, Avatar, no doubt.
What would piss me off the most: The Young Victoria. Again, thumbs down on costume dramas.
BEST EDITING:
Who should win: You know, just because Inglourious Basterds had a lot of extended scenes doesn't mean that the cutting ax should have come down on all of the scenes. Even if the scenes were a bit on the longer side, to tie each loose storyline strand together as a whole and to make every scene suspenseful as hell? That's worthy, right?
Who will win: Hurt Locker or Avatar. Whichever one takes best picture. This one will pad the stats for the winner, so to say.
What would piss me off: Avatar. Because... yeah.
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY:
Who should win: You know, I'm not against Avatar winning a few technical awards here or there. I'd prefer Inglourious Basterds to win, but you know... I wouldn't be terribly upset if Avatar took it here...
Who will win: Unless if it turns out that Avatar wins everything else as well...
What would piss me off: Then Avatar winning would blow.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE:
Who should win: Fantastic Mr. Fox.
Who will win: Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.
What would piss me off: Up winning. I mean, I enjoyed it and all, but it's getting to the point where the animated category is becoming pointless since Pixar dominates it every year. Seriously, I'd be OK if something like Coraline won... let Up's honor be the Best Picture nomination, and let another animated film get the other honor.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:
Who should win: Fantastic Mr. Fox, but... that isn't here. I guess I'm cheering for In The Loop, even though it has no chance and probably took the spot from Mr. Fox. *shrugs*
Who will win: Up In The Air, since it has little chance of winning anything else, and they'll want to reward it in some way. Which is stupid, since it's a subpar flick that was carried by the performances of Clooney, Kendrick and Farmiga. Of course, all the acting categories are locked, so... crap.
What would piss me off: Well... guess from above.
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:
Who should win: Inglourious Basterds. So... basically I want it to win everything it's nominated for. But in this case, I'm really rooting for it since it actually has a chance. A Serious Man is good too and everything, but... it doesn't really have much support, so it's hard to get behind it as a result, you know?
Who will win: Basterds. Two reasons, 1) They're going to want to award Tarantino in some form or another, and this will be the little consolation prize they'll give him while awarding Avatar/Hurt Locker elsewhere, 2) there's been a lot of articles over the perceived lack of realism in The Hurt Locker. Now, it's all quite stupid, since it's a piece of fiction, and like many pieces of fiction, it takes liberties in order to heighten the drama. And I don't think it's going to derail the movie's chances for the bigger prizes. But you could imagine some people going with Basterds over Hurt Locker since the latter wasn't "real enough", couldn't you? Not that Basterds is at all seeped in reality, but still. The Academy have given an award to someone for stupider reasons, and all the little controversy is going to take a little something away from The Hurt Locker.
What would piss me off: I've only not seen The Messenger... and of the four nominated that I have seen, all I'd be OK with. Really... I'm just glad Avatar isn't here.
BEST ACTRESS
Who should win: This is my worst category. I just watched Precious, and so far... Sidibe's the only nominee I've seen. She was good, I suppose... so give it to her?
Who will win: Bullock. Cause, you know... she deserves it for being in Hollywood for so long. Or something.
What would piss me off: Meryl Streep, since she annoys me for irrational reasons. Sandra Bullock would annoy me too. So basically, there's about a 99.9% chance I'm going to be annoyed with this category come Sunday.
BEST ACTOR
Who should win: Christoph Waltz! Come on, secretly he was the lead actor in the movie and you know it. As for the people who were actually nominated, I've only seen Renner and Clooney. Renner would prevail easily.
Who will win: Bridges. Easily.
What would piss me off: There's really no way to piss me off in this category for now, since I haven't seen 3/5ths of the nominations. I heard Morgan Freeman coasted on his typical charm to his nomination, so that'd piss off everyone else, I suppose.
BEST DIRECTOR
Who should win: Tarantino or Bigelow.
Who will win: Bigelow, cause it seems like everyone is REALLY EXCITED to give it to a woman. For some reason I can't shake the feeling that Tarantino may just pull off a huge upset, because... again, they're probably going to want to honor Tarantino in some way. But, it is most definitely going to be in the Best Screenplay category, and probably only here if the Academy REALLY liked his movie. Cameron has no shot because he's a douchebag (or because his film sucks and would have no chance were it not for the "spectacle"). Also because he's said that he doesn't really want it.
What would piss me off: Well, if Cameron won, sure. But if Jason Reitman pulls off the random, illogical upset, that would annoy me to no end. Especially because he's like 25 or something, which a) would remind me how lazy I am, b) curse the fact that I didn't have a dad in the movie business, and c) well, he's not really all that deserving for putting out three decent pictures, you know?
BEST PICTURE
Who should win: Inglourious Basterds, with A Serious Man a close second. A Serious Man took a little bit time to get going, while Inglourious Basterds was just as intriguing (albeit in a different way) while being compelling throughout. A win for The Hurt Locker would be palatable, and really... it's what I'm cheering for since I don't think Inglourious Basterds will pull it off and I would hate everything if Avatar would win. And it'd be massively disappointing if Precious/Up In The Air won.
Who will win: Going to say that The Hurt Locker eeks it out by a nose over Avatar.
What would piss me off the most: No, no, no. Not just Avatar. BUT A TIE!
Between Avatar and The Blind Side.
I would most definitely start shooting small animals.
No comments:
Post a Comment