Wait, so this *isn't* the best music collection ever known to man?

Infomercials are very misleading.

...you know, not that you needed me to tell you this. But it's something that I have finally experienced firsthand, and now I just feel depressed and alone.

So I was watching this infomercial about Time Life's newest music collection called "Romancing the 70's." I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about the product itself, but it seemed to be pretty much the best way one could spend $150. Plus it'd take me years to build up my 70's ballad collection without it or something like that. And that Tony Orlando thinks it's awesome.

The problem is that it looked too awesome.

(more after break)

The first problem was that they played a 7 second clip of Kenny Rogers singing "Lady." And in the context of the clip--in which Rogers says something to the effect of "Lady, I'm your knight in shining armor... AND I LOVE YOU"--Rogers actually sounds almost--just almost--earnest about the lyrics... but mostly he sounds bats*** insane. So screw me. It made me giggle.

So... on this fine evening, where I was bored enough to not look for employment like I should be doing, I searched for this song, expecting that my life would be changed, that I'd be able to appreciate the final little morsel of water in my cup for the wondrous thirst-quenching drop that it is, and all that jazz.

This is what I got:



So. You know. It's Easy Listening. Which is what I *should* have expected, were it not for the completely awesome 7 second clip (take my word--it was grand). I ended up listening to different variations of the song on YouTube, none of which matched up with how Rogers sung the song during the clip on the infomercial. And then I gave up, because I realized that I was spending time and effort on Kenny Rogers. (And reading through the comments for the video depressed me, because some gal said that her boyfriend thinks this is his favorite song. Unfortunately he has not yet realized he is wrong.)

So that sucked, and I fell into manic depression and etc. Then I had the bad idea to investigate the other highlight I derived from the infomercial.

Her name is Maxine Nightingale. I remember her name mainly because I repeated it six times after seeing her for about 2 seconds. Making a long story short... her hair was ridiculous.

I typed her name into Google, expecting that she'd have 26 different crazy hairstyles and crap since my experience with her had been limited to 2 seconds and everything.

I didn't find anything. However I did read that apparently she is a huge douchebag, and one time got annoyed enough with an autograph seeker that she took the pen and literally tried to shove it up that person's ass.

OK so I made that up. I don't know why I said that.

Anyway, the moral of this story is that I am depressed and alone, and this is probably all Time Life's fault. They've got about a few days to make it up to me before I consider not purchasing this very fine 70's MOR collection.