I'm going to do a running log during the game. I have nothing better to do, and I'm trying not to get too into the game so I won't be crushed when the Packers win. So a distraction will be good.

I'm cheering for the Steelers, by the way.

5:30: I would like to make a rule that nobody under the age of 50 can sing the National Anthem... ever. It's getting to the point where I have to run away whenever any sporting event on television has it performed.

I read somewhere that there was a prop bet that had an over/under of Christina Aguilera holding the word "brave" for six seconds. That was an easy over. Another easy over: Brett Favre mentions on the broadcast at 2 1/2. Unless... of course, Joe Buck read the prop bet and decides to f with everyone that bet over...

Maybe I should get into sports betting. Not that I have any money to do so, but... I'd feel I'd be good at it.

5:56: My favorite Super Bowl beer commercial of the past few years: the one second Miller commercials. Cause it stripped away all the extraneous stuff that has nothing to do with the actual product and boiled the commercials down to their essence: "hey, it's beer." It was short, simple, and perfect.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I don't drink, and from what I've heard their stuff is terrible anyway... I would never ever buy a pack of Bud Light specifically for their commercials.

5:58: Guys, Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz are dating. Just thought you all should know.

6:01: This is the point in which the Packers scored. Sadness and rage.

6:05: Cowboys & Aleins? Hell yeah! Combine this with Drive Angry, I'm really looking forward to the slate of stupid-looking action blockbusters this year.

6:08: Ben Roethlisberger, I hate you so much right now.

6:14: Ben Roethlisberger, please injure your leg more often, then run it for 20 yards.

6:25: Speaking of stupid-looking action blockbusters, I'm probably going to see the new Transformers movie. You can judge me if you like... I would probably judge me.

Also, did Budweiser just rip off the Almost Famous "Tiny Dancer" scene?

Why?

6:34: So, by my count so far... the Steelers have had about 12 penalties so far, and the Packers have had 0. Now I'm going to blindly accuse the NFL of wanting the Packers to win and fixing the game in the process.

And I'm going to believe it wholeheartedly.

6:45: *sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

6:46: So, the good things about today: I made some pretty excellent burritos for dinner, and am pretty full and happy. Everyone else liked it as well... even my brother, who usually hates Mexican as well. Also, a Viking won the Man Of The Year award, which means that this one time, a Viking made it to the Super Bowl and WON SOMETHING.

Bad things: Vikings are going to move and the Packers are going to win the Super Bowl.

7:05: So I've sort of lost interest... and now it's half time. Steelers scored, and it's now 21-10 Green Bay, which is encouraging. If the Packers don't score on the first drive of the second half, the game is going to come down to the last minute.

Also, FOX keeps telling us that this is a half time "we must not miss" and that something "spectacular" is going to happen. They actually mean that they know the Black Eyed Peas suck, but they want you to watch anyway as to not piss off their advertisers.

7:20: So I called Sara during the halftime and put the TV on mute, and I've seen various glances at the halftime show. Things I've noticed: Slash needs a paycheck, they had "audience members" do that stupid thing where they all rush towards the stage at the beginning of the show, then later the "audience members" started doing choreographed dances, this has gone on a lot longer than I would have expected, boxes were dancing on stage, everyone was blinking, and this whole thing probably would have been a lot worse with sound.

7:25: They just played the Black Keys' "Howlin' For You" while showing highlights from the first half. I'm assuming that's their way of apologizing for the halftime show.

7:40: I've been reading various websites for Super Bowl thoughts-- in an apparently unanimous vote, the Black Eyed Peas blew. Question: who enjoys them in the first place anyway? My guess is middle-aged corporate execs who think that this is what young people enjoy. Or maybe they actually have fans. That would be unfortunate.

Sidenote: I had the misfortune to hear "I Gotta Feeling" on endless repeat before knowing it was the Black Eyed Peas behind it. That gave my hatred for the song a lot more legitimacy.

7:44: HELL YEAH MENDENHALL.

7:44: Pirates Of The Caribbean is coming out on my birthday. I hated the last two, but thought the first one was fun... and now that I know it's coming out on my birthday, I kind of want to see it. Am I that easily swayed?

7:49: "Hey guys, the people of Tibet are in danger, their lives are being threatened, their great culture at risk of extinction... but if you go to this one website, you can get a coupon for half off at this great Tibetan restaurant in Chicago!"

-general gist of last commercial.

8:00: Wide left. Wide left. Wide, wide.... really wide left.

8:16: Incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete incomplete...

YES!!!!

This is in reference to a incomplete pass the Packers challenged. Just in case I read this in about a year and have no clue what's going on (although to be honest, just about everything I write here will be meaningless without the hint of its context.)

8:24: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

8:30: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

8:42: YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESS

8:43: THE PITCH! THE REASON I ALWAYS PREFER THE NCAA FOOTBALL VIDEO GAMES OVER MADDEN!!

OK. So it's a three point game. It seems like all season, the Packers have allowed their opponents to hang around, so if things were to play out like the rest of the season, expect the Packers to put together a timid looking 3 and out, and have the Steelers with the ball with a chance to win at the end.

Although now I write that, the Packers will probably just throw an 80 yard TD right now.

8:51: Well, that was 30....

8:55: Oh God. My heart was beating quickly on that last play.

I don't know why the Packers don't go for the touchdown on that play. A field goal does you no good other than making sure Pittsburgh needs a touchdown. But if you go for it... score, game over. If you fail, the Steelers have to drive from their 5 yard line to get into field goal range.

OH DAMMIT STEELERS JUST GO AHEAD A COMMIT A STUPID PERSONAL FOUL WHY DON'T YOU

9:06: ......................

Great.

Now everyone's happy, the greatest franchise in sports history has finally won a Super Bowl that has eluded them for 14 godforsaken years.

...

Watch as the collective bargaining dispute forces the NFL to cancel next season, all the while the Wilfs announce that they're moving the Vikings to LA for the start of the 2012 season.

I hate being a Vikings fan.