I've been having a lot of dreams recently about going back to school.

I'm not someone who really puts a lot of stock into the interpretation of dreams (since the large majority of my dreams are variants of me trying to buy some thing either really hard to find or something I've been wanting for a while, only to be interrupted by a meteor landing), but it's been kind of weird, because I usually can't recall what I dream about and this has happened at least a few times this week.

But I am kind of worried that--out of all the various types of dreams I'm having--this is one that is actually trying to tell me something.

It's not that I abhor school and all that it stands for... I just kind of got tired of the constant BS that surrounds it, and wanted to move on with life. And I've always assumed that a return to school would be sort of a last resort option, in the instance that I've failed in every single area and have nothing to turn towards.

Which--it's getting kind of close to that point, honestly.

I always thought the idea of college was so extremely daunting, that I'd have to decide on an entire future by the time I turned junior at a point where I had really no particular interests at all. Fast forward a few years, and that turned out very poorly, and I'm still stuck trying to figure out everything. So I guess school would be an option, but it didn't really work the last time in terms of laying out any sort of future...

I think the problem is that I just need to commit to something, even if it's not likely I'll succeed. Cause then everything would then be based on what I'm aiming towards. There would be a focus. Then if I wanted to head back to school, it would be because I know it would be beneficial, instead of seeking it out just because I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I don't know why I'm writing about this. Something else entirely--watched the 30 Rock live episode tonight. Don't really understand why it had to have a live episode since it seems to be in direct opposition of the main ethos of the show (laugh tracks=less time for jokes), but it sort of worked if you saw it mainly as an episode of Saturday Night Live in sitcom form (which really wasn't hard to do since four former cast members appeared, plus Alec Baldwin... who might as well be one... also Julia Louis-Dreyfus was on the episode, and now I think about it was an SNL member *way* back in the day.... so, make that 5 or 6). I also haven't watched the 4th season of the show, so I felt a little bit out of the loop (who the f was the guy from Canada), but whatever.

I'm tired, and this site doesn't seem to be working completely, so I'm not sure this will go through...