I f***** hate sports

1) The worst part of this game is that we lost by 4 points. Because it was on 3rd down that the Packer receiver bobbled the ball after landing inbounds for a TD, which meant that the Packers would have had to settle for 3 instead of 7. THEN, we get jobbed out of a Shaincoe TD (which was a make up call for a bad personal foul penalty on the Packers, but even if you're going to make f'n make up calls that one should have made up for the Packer "TD" anyways) and lose out on another 4 points. F***** referees...

2) The second that Packers receiver was ruled in for a TD, I was screaming for a challenge just because it looked like there was a chance he landed out of bounds (and if there's any chance it might be overruled when it means 3 points instead of 7, you f***** challenge it). But of course Childress wastes his time thinking about how he's going to piss people off by not going for a score at the end of the first half to actually challenge the damn play. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

3) Seriously, I hope pretty much every single ladyfriend Favre has had in the past comes out of the woodwork this week. And that they reveal he's been juicing for years and years. And that he owns a cockfighting league. And his ankle breaks in two.


Maybe the Timberwolves will win a few games this year...

I've been having a lot of dreams recently about going back to school.

I'm not someone who really puts a lot of stock into the interpretation of dreams (since the large majority of my dreams are variants of me trying to buy some thing either really hard to find or something I've been wanting for a while, only to be interrupted by a meteor landing), but it's been kind of weird, because I usually can't recall what I dream about and this has happened at least a few times this week.

But I am kind of worried that--out of all the various types of dreams I'm having--this is one that is actually trying to tell me something.

It's not that I abhor school and all that it stands for... I just kind of got tired of the constant BS that surrounds it, and wanted to move on with life. And I've always assumed that a return to school would be sort of a last resort option, in the instance that I've failed in every single area and have nothing to turn towards.

Which--it's getting kind of close to that point, honestly.

I always thought the idea of college was so extremely daunting, that I'd have to decide on an entire future by the time I turned junior at a point where I had really no particular interests at all. Fast forward a few years, and that turned out very poorly, and I'm still stuck trying to figure out everything. So I guess school would be an option, but it didn't really work the last time in terms of laying out any sort of future...

I think the problem is that I just need to commit to something, even if it's not likely I'll succeed. Cause then everything would then be based on what I'm aiming towards. There would be a focus. Then if I wanted to head back to school, it would be because I know it would be beneficial, instead of seeking it out just because I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I don't know why I'm writing about this. Something else entirely--watched the 30 Rock live episode tonight. Don't really understand why it had to have a live episode since it seems to be in direct opposition of the main ethos of the show (laugh tracks=less time for jokes), but it sort of worked if you saw it mainly as an episode of Saturday Night Live in sitcom form (which really wasn't hard to do since four former cast members appeared, plus Alec Baldwin... who might as well be one... also Julia Louis-Dreyfus was on the episode, and now I think about it was an SNL member *way* back in the day.... so, make that 5 or 6). I also haven't watched the 4th season of the show, so I felt a little bit out of the loop (who the f was the guy from Canada), but whatever.

I'm tired, and this site doesn't seem to be working completely, so I'm not sure this will go through...

Quick things about the Vikings game:

1) I love Randy Moss, so that touchdown to him was pretty much a thing of beauty to me. In fact, any time they threw it deep to him was just thrilling as hell, even though he had little chance on most of the passes... it's just nice to be reminded of how exciting he was way back in the day.
2) I hope the result of this whole sexting controversy is either the NFL dishes out a 12 game inappropriate conduct suspension, or he retires in order to concentrate on fixing his marriage or something. Cause Favre just pisses the s*** out of me.

I keep wanting to write about Sufjan Stevens' new album, but the problem is that I really can't help but only listen to the title track, which is suitably epic and crazy and exactly what I was hoping for when he released "You Are The Blood" for that charity release way back in the day.

Although Impossible Soul has autotune. That has that going for it.

And I think one song has lyrics about ghost-fingering, which is weird if I'm not mishearing (and of course I'm not.)

I wish I could watch this series...

I could really go for some of the self-loathing that everyone else is having.

---

The worst part is that since the Twins' payroll is sky high, you can't rely on the old "well, the big bad Yankees are just beating up on the little guys." Sure, the Yankees are pretty much single-handedly killing my enthusiasm for the sport, but they can't be used as scapegoats. The Twins are just weak-willed. The articles I've read and the quotes I've seen make me believe they think they've got no chance now, and that the Yankees are smelling blood...

...

So the Vikings got Randy Moss back...

Heck yeah.

Someone throw me a bone, please.

1) I had an interview on Friday. I wasn't trying to be super nervous about it, because that generally tends to hurt me in the actual interview, so I tried to downplay my chances and assume that I have nothing to lose and just be relaxed and all that.

Well, that all went sort of kaput. My car's battery died about an hour before my interview.

2) When I called the person I was interviewing with to tell her of my predicament, I told her I would call when I thought I'd be able to come in. So I finally got the car situation fixed, and told her that I'd be there in so-and-so minutes. Only problem is, the place was downtown somewhere, and the directions I got weren't the greatest. So I ended up driving around looking for this building until about a minute after I said I'd be there, when I gave up and asked for better directions. So not only was I late for the originally scheduled interview, but I was late for the rescheduled one as well. (Granted, this wasn't completely my fault, but you know.)

3) I bombed the interview, as I am prone to do.

I use a lot of filler words. It's a bad habit. I actively tried to avoid using them for this interview, and yet I still used them all the time. That probably colored my perception of the interview. Also, I'm always blindsided by one question where it's "give me an example of ________" and the blank is filled by something I haven't ever prepared for, and then on the spot give the worst possible example I could give.

4) My boss asked me if I could take on a few more hours the next week, since we're going to be shorthanded. I usually only want to work about 20, since it's a bit of a drive and I hate it there anyway, but I'm a nice person and I can't say no. Besides, I figure he's only going to schedule me for 25 hours or so. 25-28, something in that range.

Of course that's not what he does. He schedules me for 36 hours.

He has a very liberal definition of the word "few".

5) I just discovered that the Twins' first four games in the ALDS coincide with days and times in which I work, and that the games probably won't be shown on local TV. Which means I won't be able to have it on at work... and I'll just miss the entire series (most likely) all together.

....

....

FUDGE.

HEY, WHAT'S UP:

Not much, really.

HOW'S IT GOING:

It's going OK. Things get a little depressing now and then, but I'm trying to deal with it... or ignore it, or whatever.

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO:

Not a whole lot, really. I went to the Como Zoo recently... that was fun. I really don't have much to say about it, other than September seems like an absolutely amazing time to go to the zoo, since the exhibits were still out, most everyone was still in school and field trips wouldn't be made so early on in the year.

I've also been watching a lot of television, which has given me a way to not actually do anything with my time, which has been exciting. Actually, I guess I can somewhat attribute it to the fact that I have this idea for a television show that's been racking around in my brain for a little bit (I think it's actually an old idea of mine, but revamped a little bit), except that I really don't have a grasp on what makes quality television quality... so I've been STUDYING! There, that makes it sound a lot better.

So, let's see... past few months I've been watching (watching meaning at least a couple episodes)... Freaks & Geeks, Party Down, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Community, Futurama, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Better Off Ted, Louie, Mystery Science Theater, Stella, Eastbound & Down... other stuff that I'm probably forgetting. I would write about these shows in a more detailed recapesque form, but... my general confidence in anything I do right now is kind of nearing an all time low, so I feel like I wouldn't do most of these shows justice.

I also saw the first episode of Boardwalk Empire that aired the other day, which was alright... kinda just watching it now simply because the cast is pretty much stellar. The fact that I can watch it as it airs however is a nice perk at living at home. Staying in a room with HBO AND a DVR. So, you know... aside from feeling pretty much like a failure for failing to make it out on my own and resorting to moving back, it's been pretty beneficial to me.

COOL.

Indeed it is.

GOT ANYTHING ELSE TO SHARE WITH US:

Yes! Yes I do! I would like to announce my general love for this really cool site called FeedFliks, which shows exactly what's coming out on Netflix's instant streaming thing in the near future. It's been pretty useful, cause it tells me that wouldn't you know it, 30 Rock season 4 will be streaming in just a few days, which means that there's no need to put it in the DVD queue! Awesome! It's not actually exciting but whatever!

It also has statistics for your Netflix usage, which is pretty stupid but kinda cool. For instance, I generally don't watch the DVDs I get fairly quickly, so the calculated amount I spend on each DVD I get (given that I spend $15 a month with my subscription) is about $7. But, if you factor in each item I watch on instant streaming, it comes down to about $0.33 per item watched! Sweet!

(Although technically that's probably not the actual worth I'm getting out of my subscription, since I've allowed my brother to use his PS3 to watch stuff on Netflix. Which he does fairly occasionally.)

(Also, the only problem I have with him using my Netflix subscription is that sometimes the stuff he watches appears on my "recently watched" category on the Netflix homepage. So for instance, I can see that he has recently watched The Love Guru... which means that I am pretty much failing as a brother. You usually don't like seeing reminders of cold hard facts like that.)

SO, HOW ABOUT THEM VIKINGS:

Yep. How about them.

....THEY PRETTY MUCH SUCK, DON'T THEY:

Indeed they do. I'm kind of expecting the Lions to beat us this week. It's actually pretty weird because after all the hype for us coming into the season, it's kind of all falling apart. Our run defense even hasn't looked all that decent, which has been our specialty for the past 4 or so years.

Also, Brett Favre is old. And yes, I am hoping that he uncerimoniously gets benched in favor of Tarvaris Jackson if things continue to go poorly. I would consider it a fitting end to perhaps my least favorite player of all time. Yes, I am a bad person.

BUT HEY! THE TWINS JUST MADE IT INTO THE PLAYOFFS!:

Heck yes they did! Might even stand to have the best record in baseball!

SO DOES THAT MEAN THAT WE MIGHT MAKE IT PAST THE YANKEES IN THE FIRST ROUND THIS YEAR:

Probably not.

... blah blah blah...

I'm sick and I'm going to probably be up until at least 3 AM. That's the kind of intelligence I like to display.

...

The Vikings start their season tomorrow, and I for one am dreading it terribly.

I have absolutely no good feelings about this year... for a few reasons I'll explain now. First, the score tomorrow is going to be something like Saints 42, Vikings 27... something where we're technically within striking range, but New Orleans controls throughout and kicks the s*** out of our secondary.

Anyway, the reasons I'm not feeling this season:

1) Last few times we made the NFC championship, we went into the next year with heightened expectations... only to sorely disappoint. The only reason we made the playoffs in 1999 was because Jeff George had some strange magic in his arm (to the point where I was pissed off we didn't keep him the next year).
2) Favre is going to play all 16 games, cause he likes to seem tough and all, but he's going to be banged up like crazy. (Cause he's 80.) To the point where he's going to ostensibly retire in 2011 in order to heal all his injuries... before announcing he's coming back to play in 2012.
3) They are essentially going all in on this season, which worries me. I know they probably don't have a realistic chance past this year, but the idea that this is their only chance... well, it might work out, but it might just blow up completely in our faces. Something doesn't go right for the team and panic mode might set in. I don't know. I just don't feel good about it.

I haven't been up to anything else, by the way.

Just... breathing, mainly.

August 22nd:

-I'm sitting here before I have to go to work and my girlfriend is playing Super Mario Galaxy (not the new one, mind you--the first one that she still has yet to complete), and I have really nothing better to do than write, so here we go.

I've been trying to find some sort of direction for perhaps the past few months (years, decades...) and been failing miserably at doing so. I have also been trying to find some reasonable source of income for the past few months, and failing at that as well. Any other possible ventures I may have undertaken over the course of the past few months=probably haven't turned out terribly well either.

I'm assuming it all boils down to a lack of drive and a lack of confidence. It'd be super great if I could find a way to change all that, but it's kind of hard to do that without something giving you a sense of hope or purpose or whatever. I'm trying to enjoy things regardless, but sometimes everything seems to be such a downer.

I think one of the bigger problems is that I haven't just quit my job yet, which--despite the fact that it is money no matter how little money it is-- contributes absolutely zero to my self worth and has made me pretty much complacent in trying to find any other source of income. Not that I'm expecting to find anything that will contribute anything to my self worth or my wallet, but still... I think a clean slate might be--maybe not essential, but perhaps a good way to refocus and start feeling decent again.

-I'm contemplating selling items I find around thrift stores and sales online as a way to make a little bit of a profit, but I have absolutely no idea where I would begin. I figure something terrible would happen--maybe I'd have nothing sell, or I'd sell something and they somehow get broken from point A to point B, so... yeah.

-I have no idea where Sara ran off to...

-I had an amazing sandwich today. Not that it's terribly important or anything, but you know. Just so you can be jealous. And actually, I had pretty much the exact same sandwich last night as well... I was going to buy some bread at the store last night when I saw that there was a buy one get one free coupon for the bread I was going to get. It was a small victory for me.

And now I'm off to work... which is unfortunate because it means I will miss BRETT FAVRE'S FIRST PRESEASON GAME IN OVER A YEAR!

Or it means I'll miss the first place Twins increase their division lead by one. Or Mad Men. Or it means I'll miss not working in general, because I meant to request today off just because I hate working Sundays (only I accidentally requested Saturday off. Sigh.).

This is what I do most of the time...

I've got nothing better to do, so I'm going to write about stuff that I've found at thrift stores recently:

-My main course of action is usually to look for bobbleheads, and I believe my collection is up to about 40 as of right now. It's actually getting to the point where I'm running out of room to put them, since in my current state of living in between places (i.e. home) I just keep them over the fireplace, which has limited space and is already occupied by other stuff. Anyway, some of the bobbleheads I've found as of late, in order from psuedo-coolness to weird:

-Yoda and Boba Fett for about $0.90 apiece.
-Charles Barkley
-Mr. T
-WCW former world champion DDP.
-Bill Murray-except in a baseball uniform, playing for some random team named the Loggers. I saw that apparently the Saints gave this out as a giveaway, so I can only assume that this team is fictional, since it'd be pretty weird to give out something that acts as merchandise for other teams...
-A SpongeBob "bobblepants"... which I suppose is fitting.
-A drop of blood dressed up in a Phoenix Coyotes hockey jersey.

-ALSO, I've been finding myself in the habit of rebuilding my N64 collection (for I think the third time) when I saw a copy of FZero-X in a store and didn't buy it and then regretted it ever since (cause, you know... that game is ace). Since then, I've gotten Paper Mario, Goldeneye, 1080 Snowboarding and Rush 2: Extreme Racing.

I loved the Paper Mario games, but I never played the original one for whatever reason. (Just finished it last night, actually) I don't know. It's not the most challenging or deepest game in the history of mankind, but it's fun to play and it has a wicked sense of humor.

-AND... I just reset up my record player after having it sit around for a few months, and thus I've been also accumulating albums while out looking for bobbleheads. And I've found a lot of cool stuff: Surrealistic Pillow, The Cars' s/t, Neil Young's After The Gold Rush, Allman Brothers' Eat A Peach.

Unfortunately, I was about 1 minute from getting a $2 copy of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, as I saw it on top of stack of records that some employee had on her cart of stuff to put out. The thing is, the carts have specific instructions that you are not to shop off the carts, so I didn't want to just grab the record and risk getting in trouble. So I sort of semi-followed the employee, waiting for her to finally take it off the cart (which would be fair game and all), pretending to look at other stuff while really just trying to keep my eye on the record.

BUT THEN, I saw that SpongeBob thing and was EVER SO SLIGHTLY distracted by it when some jerkoff swiped it off the cart! What the heck? And the employee was all "oh, whatever!" Dammit! I had that!

I guess it's not a big deal that some people don't follow proper etiquette and stuff, but still... you know.

Oh well.

I was watching the Arcade Fire live webcast of their Madison Square Garden show the other day. A few thoughts popped into my mind:

-The show looked pretty much exactly like the show I went to: meaning, same stage set up, same moments happening during songs (i.e. Win going up to the rafters, some guy running around and bashing a drum during Rebellion)... all that jazz.

-Apparently the webcast was directed by Terry Gilliam, which meant... well, nothing. That he likes the band and had a day off to hang out with them, I guess.

-The band still has this aura of self-seriousness that I don't really like. I mean, it's great and all that people's aiming for the stars and trying to be the best in the world and crap. But when you have the opinion that they've reached short of that "best in the world" moniker and yet find them still clinging desperately to that goal, your reaction is going to be "...OK, that's... great?" I think a lot of it is thanks to the hype as well. I read that BBC was comparing their newest album to OK Computer, which seems like such a stupid thing to say and an immediate turn off to anything regarding the band or the album. So pretty much no one is helping.

All that said... their newest album isn't bad.

It's not a classic by any means, and there's a point in which it all begins to sound the same (which I think comes down to the fact that it seems less complex and yet much longer than their other two albums), but you know... it's not bad. After Neon Bible, which was basically them trying to CHANGE THE WORLD WITH MUSIC, they needed their next album to be something less overwhelming in concept.

And so I've been able to just tune out any sort of overarching theme to the album (I'm pretty sure it has to do with the suburbs... and the kids), ignore all the lyrics (which is what I usually like to do and yet found it impossible to do on their last album) and just listen to what's there. And musically, they're not aiming to conquer the world like their last album, but instead going for intricate and atmospheric--sort of like Funeral, except without the killer songwriting. I've only given it a couple of spins, so I'm not really super familiar with all the songs, but here's a few that stand out:

City With No Children: I read somewhere that it sounds a bit like the Rolling Stones, which seems really weird but it's kind of true. But I don't know how to explain it... the song sounds sort of off. I'm explaining this as a good thing, you know.

Month Of May: I think everyone hates Month Of May, but I don't. Mainly because it's pretty much the only song on the album that's somewhat uptempo... which is a REALLY nice change of pace.

We Used To Wait: It has this killer beginning with a fantastic melody, and given the band's track record you'd expect it to develop into this epic crescendo like Wake Up or something. It doesn't... which saddens me for a bit, but it's probably for the better that it just builds its unsettling mood.

The Sprawl (Mountains Beyond Mountains): The obvious standout. It's the band stepping out of their comfort zone and tackling disco of all things-and yet it works magnificently.

I think I might have to help my girlfriend with Super Mario Galaxy here, so I guess I'm cutting things short, but in essence: it's not perfect, but it's a grower. And I'm totally fine with that.