I went to Best Buy today, and on my way out of the store I spotted a wad of dollar bills in the parking lot. It was about $3, so not that much. Usually I would just leave it there and allow its rightful owner to pick it up (or... let someone else stumble upon a couple of free bucks). But today, I just instinctively grabbed it.

After I grabbed it, I rationalized it was $3, so it was really no big deal... and then started my car, and drove off.

Halfway home I was wracked with guilt. Damnit.

To give you an idea of how my brain works, these were the scenarios that I thought could have played out.

1) Some 6 year old had his birthday today, and got enough money that he was able to go to the store to buy the game he's been wanting forever. He knew that he needed extra money due to cash, so he was sure to stuff a couple extra ones in his little pocket. Then as he's walking into the store, those ones fall out. He can't find them, he can't buy his game. I have just ruined his birthday.

2) A homeless man is given a couple dollars. He is tired and hungry, and spots the nearby Best Buy as a place where he can get something to eat (there's no other store around the store that would sell cheap food, so go with this). Because luck obviously hasn't screwed him enough, he drops said money as he's ambling towards the store, and is too tired to notice it falling out. Dude walks into the store, only to discover that he has no way of paying for the Cheetos. Best Buy kicks him out because he smells. Homeless man is still hungry.

3) Some hidden camera show decides that a great idea for an episode is to place $3 in the parking lot. Hidden camera show films me picking up said $3, then portrays me as a greedy bastard. People then recognize me as that greedy bastard, then disown me. I try giving the money back to charity, but they won't accept it. Because they hate me.

4) A powerful mob boss is driving to Best Buy to get some extravagant TV in an attempt to display his power through wealth. He drops $3 as he's walking in. And once in the store, he realizes this. He's rich and crap, but he doesn't like losing his money, so he heads out to pick the money back up. He spots me picking it up and taking off. And because he's a mob boss and thus very short tempered, he orders a hit on me. A couple of big Italian guys follow me home, and wait for the next moment in which I leave my house. Which hasn't happened yet... but it will.

I'm somewhat convinced that one of those scenarios played out today. Or at least something similar.

I thought about giving it back, but I didn't know how. Do I put it back onto the street? Do I explain to the Best Buy customer service desk that someone lost $3, only to laugh it off and tell me to keep it because they don't know how important $3 can be?

So I just kept it. It's in my pocket right now.

Despite the fact that some 6-year old could be searching high and low for it as we speak...