GRAAAAAH

I just beat New Super Mario Bros. Wii.

Few things:

-It took me about 2 months to do it because I started playing it on my brothers' Wii and got to about level 5 over Christmastime. Then I went back to my place and never put it in my own Wii, so my only chance to play the game was essentially when I visited home for a few days. If that is not a testament to my laziness, then I don't know what is.

-I played 2 player most of the time, which I've determined is a lot more enjoyable due to the fact that I can blame my brother for pretty much everything. And with good reason - I had about 1 continue used throughout the game, and he had about 30. So I was assuming that the heavy lifting for the final boss battle would be left to me and everything, since... you know, I'm better.

BUT THEN. The boss battle evolved into a race against time platformer with fireballs coming at you in every single direction. I died, mainly because I was devoting precious seconds glancing over at my brother's character (Luigi) to make sure he was alive. I assumed that since I died, he would then die shortly thereafter.

HE ENDED UP COMPLETING THE "BATTLE" AND WINNING THE GAME.

It's like if Robert DeNiro and Pauly Shore were in a movie together, and DeNiro carried Shore throughout the entire movie, except for the pivotal scene in which DeNiro drops the ball and Shore inexplicably stealing it from him. It makes no sense.

And I died in the middle of the level, too. And he kept going.

-So I--as Mario--died in the middle of the level, and my brother as Luigi ended up saving Peach. Then of course in the ending scene Mario and Peach are all love-y dove-y, and Luigi brings them a hot air balloon, acting as their friggin' chauffeur. Meanwhile, Luigi was the one to save Peach. Which apparently everyone forgot.

Not that I'm expecting that the ending scene needs to consist of Luigi and Peach having hot Nintendo sex, but if Mario fails in the game and Luigi ends up doing all the work, shouldn't there be a ending scene that reflects that? Like, you don't have to break up Mario and Peach, but you could at least include hints of Peach contemplating infidelity or something, and that Mario's manliness is a bit lacking and such.

-Also, the level challenges where I need to carry Toad to the end are terribly frustrating. Mainly because Toad is a moron. And runs into enemies to kill himself.

Which is stupid, in case you didn't know.