SUPER BOWL

The Patriots are playing the Giants. Right now. Patriots just sacked Manning.

I'm going to blog while this is going on, because I have nothing better to do.

...and the Patriots just gave up a safety. Well, they're not winning this game.

...and Elton John pissed any good will I had for him down the drain with that stupid Pepsi commercial.

Note: in general, I am going to hate all the commercials airing tonight. Or at least most of them. Typically most of them just try way too hard because they want to justify wasting millions for a 30-second spot.

5:48: Tackling is usually a good idea if you happen to play on defense. Also, not having 12 guys on the field when otherwise you would have gotten a key turnover.

I'm starting to think that this is going to be a Giants blowout. Which is disappointing to me, because I'm cheering for the Patriots.... touchdown Giants.... and also since they're the villains in this case, it makes a better story for the bad guys to post the huge initial lead, only for the humble country boy to lead them back to win the game. I mean, that's what happens in movies, at least.

Celebrity Apprentice commercial quote: "If you attack me, I'll attack you right back. For charity."

6:00: Well, now the Patriots are putting up a nice drive, and they didn't immediately give up a safety. So maybe the idea of a Giants blowout was a tad premature...

I mean, a field goal is OK.

So far, no stupid beer commercials, so that's been the main highlight.

6:24: So... this game has been rather boring.

I made some delicious tacos with delicious guacamole for dinner tonight, which makes it... either the 2nd or 3rd year in a row for the Super Bowl. Which is exciting to me, because I like having traditions... and, you know... because I like eating great food.

Unfortunately, although I did all the work making the food, it looks like no one took it upon themselves to clean it all up. So... I guess I should do that right about now.

6:36: This game is going to be over by 8.

6:40: I'm kind of hoping at this point that Belichick punches one of his own players or something. Just to make it interesting...

6:43: Whenever I'm at home and watching football, I watch the games upstairs, and my brothers start the game watching it upstairs. Then inevitably, they wind up heading downstairs to watch the game. Not that there's any reason why watching games downstairs is more appealing... they just do.

I'm trying to figure out why they're still up here, since I would assume they'd be gone by now. It can't be that the game is riveting or anything--so maybe it's the opposite, where an exciting game compels them downstairs for whatever reason.

The Patriots are on the 3 yard line with about 20 seconds left, but they're gonna have to settle for a field goal. Just watch.

6:47: That last paragraph was a reverse jinx on my part. And now the Patriots go into halftime leading, which is quite the surprise given how subpar they've seemed.

6:52: I mean, there's still hope yet. Rams/Titans was a boring defensive struggle until 10 different players provided late game heroics. Patriots/Panthers was 0-0 for almost half the game before turning into a shootout. So... that's good, right?

Madonna's coming up.

...

7:02:

Why?

7:04: I mean, compared to last year's (which I watched on mute, and it still was not pleasant), this isn't bad, but... Madonna is one of those people where I am aware that they are considered an icon, but I can't understand why the hell anyone would consider her to be one.

7:13: I mean, it was more interesting than the first half, I'll give it that...

...wait, what the hell is wrong with me?

7:14: Also, I'm glad Madonna made it clear she is in favor of world peace. It's a pretty bold stance to take.

7:23: OCHOCINCO!!

7:28: Touchdown Pats. That was promising.

My brother is bouncing an exercise ball off my other brother's head.

7:45: I feel like if you include Jay Leno in your car commercial, you're trying to target people with no discernible judgment.

8:05: It's 17-15 Patriots in the 4th quarter. Giants have the ball after picking off Brady. So at least this has the potential to become interesting.

Also, why does this year's Super Bowl logo seem so boring?

8:19: So theoretically, I'm cheering for the Patriots... but they just got the ball back with 9 minutes at their own 7 yard line. And... I'm kind of hoping for another safety here.

Just for the hell of it.

8:25: Well, this is the first time I've thought about The Darkness in about 10 years.

8:31: That Welker drop is going to be the death of the Patriots.

8:33: Manningham pulls in a nice 30-yarder, and they have to challenge it to make the game just a *little* more boring.

You know how in professional wrestling, sometimes a good guy comes down to the ring seemingly to help out his good guy friend against a dastardly villain, only to shock the world and attack his good friend? And it makes no sense other than the guy suddenly wants to be evil?

Right now, I'm kind of hoping that Brandon Jacobs takes a hand off and just tosses it to a Patriots player, thus revealing he'd been in the pockets of the Patriots the whole time.

8:38: And... the Giants are within field goal position with 2 minutes left.

I'm hoping for an inexplicable fumble now. Something other than just three straight run plays/field goal...

8:41: *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Giants are going to kick the field goal. Patriots get the ball with 20 seconds left... can't do anything, Giants win most boring one point Super Bowl ever. Good night.

8:43: HOLY CRAP! HE ACCIDENTALLY FELL INTO THE END ZONE!!!!

Please God, let the Patriots come back now. Just so this can go down as the worst touchdown ever.

8:53: Bleh.

8:55: So... that was a fairly boring game. A little intense down the stretch, but nothing extremely riveting. And the "let the other team score a TD" strategy ended up not working, much to my disappointment.

And now we get to hear about how Eli Manning is a Hall of Fame QB, which seemed inexplicable 5 months ago. And Tom Brady has two Super Bowl losses to his resume, which will be pivotal in those important "who is the best QB of all time" conversations.

I just heard Manningham's catch being compared to David Tyree's. That is wrong.